Well so far I've followed through on my personal challenge to do one thing that scares me every month. Although I can't say this months challenge was done completely on my own. I finally was able to take the necessary steps to remove myself and my children from a negative situation. After 10 yrs in a controlling, abusive relationship I have finally found the strength to walk away. I served my ex with a protective order last night and it was by far the scariest thing I've ever done. I'm not naive enough to believe this is the end all, I believe it will get worse before it actually gets better. But for now, I can breathe. And it's an amazing feeling.
Throughout this process I've had people tell me how strong I am for going through with this. After almost 10 years of feeling anything but strong it was a strange compliment. It sounds cliche to say but I credit rock climbing for giving me the strength to take the necessary steps to leave this situation. Before rock climbing, I never knew how strong I was, mentally or physically. It made me look at myself in a whole new light. I wasn't helpless, I wasn't stupid and I wasn't a failure anymore. I was a strong, confident woman who could stand on her own two feet.
I also need to mention that I could not have done this on my own. You never know exactly how amazing your friends are until it comes down to the nitty gritty. I've discovered that my friends are indeed amazing. The support and encouragement I've received has been overwhelming. After years of my ex attempting to alienate my friends from me, they are still there for me 100%. I cannot thank them enough.
If you have friends involved in a controlling, abusive situation please help them. They may resist help, but don't walk away. There will come a day that enough will be enough, or they'll finally have an epiphany and realize they don't deserve that kind of life and when that happens, they will need you. I know I'm no authority on the matter and I don't mean to sound like a PSA (well maybe I do). But if I can help anyone in the way my friends have helped me then I feel that something positive has come from my negative experience.
Thank you for reading, I know this post wasn't exactly related to climbing, running or lifting but it was something I needed to get off my chest.