Well so far I've followed through on my personal challenge to do one thing that scares me every month. Although I can't say this months challenge was done completely on my own. I finally was able to take the necessary steps to remove myself and my children from a negative situation. After 10 yrs in a controlling, abusive relationship I have finally found the strength to walk away. I served my ex with a protective order last night and it was by far the scariest thing I've ever done. I'm not naive enough to believe this is the end all, I believe it will get worse before it actually gets better. But for now, I can breathe. And it's an amazing feeling.
Throughout this process I've had people tell me how strong I am for going through with this. After almost 10 years of feeling anything but strong it was a strange compliment. It sounds cliche to say but I credit rock climbing for giving me the strength to take the necessary steps to leave this situation. Before rock climbing, I never knew how strong I was, mentally or physically. It made me look at myself in a whole new light. I wasn't helpless, I wasn't stupid and I wasn't a failure anymore. I was a strong, confident woman who could stand on her own two feet.
I also need to mention that I could not have done this on my own. You never know exactly how amazing your friends are until it comes down to the nitty gritty. I've discovered that my friends are indeed amazing. The support and encouragement I've received has been overwhelming. After years of my ex attempting to alienate my friends from me, they are still there for me 100%. I cannot thank them enough.
If you have friends involved in a controlling, abusive situation please help them. They may resist help, but don't walk away. There will come a day that enough will be enough, or they'll finally have an epiphany and realize they don't deserve that kind of life and when that happens, they will need you. I know I'm no authority on the matter and I don't mean to sound like a PSA (well maybe I do). But if I can help anyone in the way my friends have helped me then I feel that something positive has come from my negative experience.
Thank you for reading, I know this post wasn't exactly related to climbing, running or lifting but it was something I needed to get off my chest.
22 comments:
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you are incredibly strong! I am so glad you were able to do the best thing for you and your children. I wish the best for you!
I just wanted to tell you that you are a truly amazing person. I can relate to being in a relationship like this and know how hard it is to build the self confidence to leave! Times may be hard and confusing now but no matter what never look back. Keep moving foward. You will be a stonger person for it. XOXO
Good luck to you. The right thing to do isn't always the easiest. I got my DVD, now I just need to get a kettle bell! Thanks!
GOOD for you. I was worried you were going through something difficult when I didn't hear much from you on the inter-web. I'm sure you've been through emotional hell recently, and I want you to know that I'm hear. And I MEAN that! Not too far. Let me know if there's anything I can do...and amazing job with being assertive, confident, and allowing yourself to move on with your life without taking his baggage with.
You are so incredibly strong! My Mom was in a similar situation and it took her 22 years to get out. I'm so happy for you and your children and it will get better!! Sending lots of hugs!!
BIG HUGS!!!!!
Btw, I got all my goodies yesterday!
Giving you a HUGE virtual hug!!!!
Wow. You are a brave woman. You are in my thoughts.
Way to go Haley - hopefully it's all good from here!
You are brave and strong, and an inspiration to many people. I've never been in that situation, and have no idea how hard that was. I know you are an inspiration to me in other areas though. To be strong for myself. I love reading your blog. Whether it is running, climbing, or just life in general. Don't apologize, you are helping people you don't even know about! Stay strong!
I think it is great you shared that you never know who it will inspire. You are amazing and brave for saying you aren't going to take it anymore, good for you !
Very important message on your blog....very important. Hooray for you! All of us in some way have experienced or know someone going through this situation. We are "sisters" and need to look out for each other.
Wow Haley. Hats off to you for finding the courage to do this. Wishing you nothing but happiness moving forward.
You are very brave. Your message is very important, thank you for sharing and congratulations on taking care of yourself. {{hugs}}
haley, i just want to tell you how incredibly STRONG and BRAVE you are!! i respect you so very much for doing what you need to in order to protect both your's and your children's best interests. know that not only will you be much happier in life but you ensure that your children are able to grow up doing the same. as strong as you are physically you are even stronger mentally and emotionally. take care, and know you are supported by so many, myself included! i hope you're having a wonderful day and holiday!
Kudos to you...grew up in a home like that. Not fun. Thanks for sharing your story.
Congrats to taking care of yourself and seeking your happiness
hugs and prayers.
You my dear are a rockstar. Congratulations on taking this big step in your life. Your future is bright.
I love you Haley, and I truly believe you are strong and will be ok. I really want you to know that I am here for you, and will always listen to you, and be a shoulder to cry on.
Wow- I'm so proud of you! I can only imagine the amount of strength it takes to do something like that. I'll be thinking about you.
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